Patrick Hastie is a goddamn comedian.

Jul 25
The next Jackknife Comedy at Brooklyn Colony is August 7th!It’s FREE!This month we got:Ben Conrad (Cool Dude)Marcia Belsky (Cool Dude)Irene Hartmann (Cool Dude)Daniel J Perafan (Cool Dude)Brandon Hal Ream (Cool Dude)Hosted by:Gideon, Luke & PatrickTell your friends, it’s gonna be fucking rad!

The next Jackknife Comedy at Brooklyn Colony is August 7th!

It’s FREE!

This month we got:

Ben Conrad (Cool Dude)

Marcia Belsky (Cool Dude)

Irene Hartmann (Cool Dude)

Daniel J Perafan (Cool Dude)

Brandon Hal Ream (Cool Dude)

Hosted by:
GideonLuke & Patrick

Tell your friends, it’s gonna be fucking rad!

Jul 25

At 26: All my friends are getting married!

At 29: All my friends are getting divorced!

At 32: All my friends are dying in the Space Wars!

Jul 22

10 Great Songs by Early 2000s “Christian” Bands, Compiled By A Guy Who Doesn’t Believe in God

Earlier today I tweeted this

and it got me thinking….

I used to be in a band that got labeled as “christian”. I was then (and still am today) agnostic. I never gave a shit if people thought were religious, as long as they liked our music and as long as we kept getting to play shows with really great bands. And for a year or so, we did just that.

Here are 10 songs by early 2000s “christian” bands that were fucking awesome.

10. “High Five” by Calibretto 13

9. “Standing on the Edge of Night” by Element 101

8. “The Difference” by Count The Stars

7. “Angels of the Silences” by Stretch Arm Strong 

6. “When The Sun Sleeps” by Underoath

5. “Duane Joseph” by The Juliana Theory

4. “The Longest Winter” by Pedro the Lion 

3. “Tonight” by Ace Troubleshooter

2. “Snowbirds and Townies” by Further Seems Forever 

1. “Songs Will Write the Words” by twothirtyeight

Jul 19

She was looking kind of dumb he wrote, only to pause. His stomach turned. A pause like this could be one of two things; a short rest, or a long block.

The short rests were nothing, and even slightly relaxing. However, there had been times when the long blocks would plague him for weeks - months even. He would describe it to friends and colleagues as feeling like his brain had been filled with wet cement. Unable to process art, slowing down as the cement would harden. Shutting out all sense of creativity. All sense of magic. All sense of wonder. It was truly the one thing that terrified him.

But then suddenly, like a sign from above, the muse spoke to him and he again pressed his pen to the paper and wrote the words With her finger & her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead.

Steve smiled. “Not today cement” he said to aloud to the empty room, “Not today.”

Jul 16
Ugh.

Ugh.

Jul 10
jjflow:

Let’s just all take a moment to let ALL the parts of this story sink in…

50312 Recanize!

jjflow:

Let’s just all take a moment to let ALL the parts of this story sink in…

50312 Recanize!

Jul 10

My Next 6 Days…

Thursday:

  • 8:00am: Wake up.
  • 9:00am: Go to Work.
  • 5:00pm: Get a Haircut.
  • 6:00pm: Take a Nap.
  • 8:00pm: I’m doing “This One Time” Storytelling show at People’s Republic of Brooklyn.
  • 10:00pm: Go to Bed.

Friday:

  • 4:00am: Wake up.
  • 5:00am: Go to LaGuardia.
  • 7:00am: Fly to Cedar Rapids.
  • 11:00am: Land in Cedar Rapids, see my Wife and Dog!
  • 11:30am: Do stuff for my Brother-in-Law’s wedding.

Saturday:

  • All Day: Brother in Law’s wedding.

Sunday:

  • All Day: Hang out with my Wife and my Dog!

Monday:

  • 9:00am: Wake up.
  • 1:00pm: Lunch with friends and family in Iowa City.
  • 3:40pm: Fly back to New York.
  • 9:30pm: Land in New York.
  • 10:30pm: Go to bed.

Tuesday:

  • 8:00am: Wake up.
  • 9:00am: Go to work.
  • 5:00pm: Go to mics.
  • 10:00pm: I’m doing Creek and Cave Live at The Creek and the Cave.
  • 12:00am: Sleep for a million years.
Jul 09
howaboutthatpod:

On the fifth episode of HOW ABOUT THAT PODCAST, we sit down with comedian Tim Unkenholz and talk about his crazy weird puking!



This is a really great episode folks!

howaboutthatpod:

On the fifth episode of HOW ABOUT THAT PODCAST, we sit down with comedian Tim Unkenholz and talk about his crazy weird puking!

This is a really great episode folks!

Jul 08
Hey folks, I’m on this cool storytelling show Thursday at People’s Republic of Brooklyn! Everyone on it is really funny so you should all come!
From the facebook page:

This month’s theme: TERRIBLE ROOMMATES We’ve all had them, now we can talk shit about them. It’ll be therapeutic for everyone! Our storytellers:Anna Drezen Alana EisnerWill CareyCarolyn BergierPatrick Hastie Also, we have a lottery slot called “THE ALOYSIUS SPOT” for anyone who has something to share. To know why it’s called the Aloysius spot, you’ll have to listen to me tell the story… See what I did there!?!? As always the show is TOTALLY 100% FREE!!! 8PM

Hey folks, I’m on this cool storytelling show Thursday at People’s Republic of Brooklyn! Everyone on it is really funny so you should all come!

From the facebook page:

This month’s theme:

TERRIBLE ROOMMATES

We’ve all had them, now we can talk shit about them. It’ll be therapeutic for everyone!

Our storytellers:
Anna Drezen
Alana Eisner
Will Carey
Carolyn Bergier
Patrick Hastie

Also, we have a lottery slot called “THE ALOYSIUS SPOT” for anyone who has something to share.

To know why it’s called the Aloysius spot, you’ll have to listen to me tell the story… See what I did there!?!?

As always the show is TOTALLY 100% FREE!!!

8PM

Jul 06

Pretty good reviews of “The Magic School Bus” holiday episode!