Over the last two years The Bomb Shelter has had over 50 stand up comedians, 4 improvisors and 1 jam band!
So thanks to the following people for making the show the coolest place to be on the last Friday every month in Des Moines: Tommy Morgan Jr, Billy Short, Mike Kitzman, Brad Gilbert, Greg Althoff, Brand Ream, Alex Carter, Ashley Huck, Andrew Lopez, Toll McGrane, Derek Moulds, Jack Lewis, Travis Cherniss, Wes Cozad, Matt Vondrak, Tim Schifsky, Joey Ficken, Greg Timmerman, Scott VerMulm, Marc Von Ahnen, Morgan Hart, Joel Fry, Nick Costanzo, Ben Herman, Dan Umthun, Preston Tompkins, Zach Reinert, Kristy Hartsgrove-Moores, Daniel Frana, Peter Tornabane, Brad Turk, Jack Comstock, Dusty Stahl, Stephen Smith, Abby Rosenquist, Kyle O’Reilly, Firesale, Chris Schlicting, Anything Improv, Sireono Sheley, Doug Stone, Anthony Lobaito, Jordan Tuerler, Mike Lucas, Andrew Cline, Dan Cole, Annie Hildebrand, Noah Innis, Julie Bane, Peter Banachowski, Mike Lebovitz, Spencer Loucks and of course Gideon Hambright, Luke Ritter, Ryan Solomon and John Eide!
And on a More Serious Note... A Few Thoughts on Guns!
Update:I now know that most people on military bases don’t carry guns. It doesn’t change my opinion at all. Thanks.
So when a movie theater gets shot up, pro-gun types say: “THOSE MOVIE-GOERS SHOULD HAVE HAD GUNS! WE NEED MORE GUNS!”
And when a mall gets shot up, pro-gun types say: "THOSE SHOPPERS SHOULD HAVE HAD GUNS! WE NEED MORE GUNS!"
And when an elementary school gets shot up, pro-gun types say: "THOSE TEACHERS SHOULD HAVE HAD GUNS! WE NEED MORE GUNS!"
But when a military base gets shot up…
They all had guns…
And it still happened…
Maybe we need less guns?
BUT PATRICK, THE CONSTITUTION GIVES US THE RIGHT TO HAVE GUNS!
I studied the Constitution quite a bit at Iowa State (GO CYCLONES). In the constitution our founding fathers referred to non-free people as being 3/5ths of a person [Art 1, Sec 2] and allowed such peoples to be legally migrated and imported into the United States for sale, as long as it was done so by the year 1808 (20 years after the ratification of the document) [Art 1, Sec 9]. And the founding fathers specifically put into the Constitution that if a non-free 3/5ths person escapes to another state, they shall be caught and delivered back to their owner [Art 4, Sec 2].
In hindsight, those are really fucked up things. Which is why we’re lucky that the founding fathers also included Article 5 into the Constitution which allows the document to be amended.
An Amendment is like an update or a “yes and”. We all know the right to freedom of speech  and the right to bear arms , and in 1865 we invoked Article 5 and amended the Constitution and abolished slavery , because shit had changed in our country and so shit had to change in our Constitution. Later we’d prohibit the manufacture and sale of alcohol , give Women the right to vote  and repeal the prohibition of the manufacture and sale of alcohol .
Thomas Jefferson said that “laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind”. People have to stop acting like the Constitution is a bible. Passages of the bible don’t have parts written in 1992.
So hiding behind the idea that “we deserve the right to have guns” is total fucking bullshit. The times have changed.
BUT PATRICK, GUNS ARE TOOLS, THEY ARE NOT INHERENTLY EVIL OR GOOD. NO MORE THAN A HAMMER OR A SCREWDRIVER. GUNS ARE USED FOR SELF DEFENSE, SPORT, HUNTING AND INVESTMENTS!
When you carry a concealed Glock 17 or a Bereta Nano into a public place, it is not so that you can use it as a tool. It is not so that you can hunt with it, or so that you can target practice with it, or so that you can investments with it (not sure what that means really). It is strictly for self defense, and self defense is in the eye of the defender.
BUT PATRICK, WHENEVER ANYONE IS IN TROUBLE, THEY PRAY FOR A GOOD GUY TO SHOW UP WITH A GUN!
I’ve NEVER, nor will I ever, be in a situation where I hope that someone shows up with a gun. Good or bad. I hate guns. With all my heart. When I lived in a East New York (one of the worst neighborhoods in Brooklyn), I was always much more afraid of the “good” guy with a gun than the “bad” guy with a gun. Because the “bad” guy with the gun has a plan and more than likely, I’m not a part of that plan. He’s on offense, he knows the play. The ”good” guy is reacting, that’s when bad shit happens and if they aren’t playing defense, then they aren’t the “good” guy.
BUT PATRICK, IRRESPONSIBLE DRIVERS STILL GET LICENSES AND KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE AS WELL. SHOULD WE BAN CARS?
When I’m driving, I might not know the mental state of the people around me on the road, but I do know who has a car. If someone cuts me off, I honk, and they begin to drive in a way that puts me in danger, I’m aware of it. Cars aren’t concealed. Plus I’m also in a car, so an idiot driver vs a smart driver makes things a little more fair. I could still die in this situation, but at least I’m aware there is a situation.
When I’m in a mall, or a theater, or an elementary school, not only do I not know the mental state of the people around me, but I also don’t know who has a concealed gun (legally or illegally). So if someone get’s mad because they have decided that I’ve done something wrong, my only reaction is to assume that they have a gun and immediately leave. Because I don’t want to get shot.
SO PATRICK, YOU’RE CALLING FOR A BAN ON GUNS!
I hate guns. I’m anti-gun.
But since I understand guns are never gonna go away (thanks to lobbyists from manufacturers and groups like the NRA preying on the lower-middle class), I’m instead anti-concealed gun.
I think that if you feel you need a pistol or a glock to keep yourself safe, and the local or state government gives you the go ahead to carry a gun in public, then you should have to wear it on your belt in a holster like police officers do. That way, I still wouldn’t know the mental state of the people around me, but I would know who has a gun and those are the people I’d stay the fuck away from. Much like how when I’m on the highway and I see a driver swerving back and forth, I stay the fuck away from them.
I bet if we had a time machine and could go back to the early 1800s and show a bunch of Native Americans a video of 30 people standing in a semi-circle in an office surrounded by cubicles clapping because one person nominated another person to be employee of the month, they’d be like “Yeah, ok, you can take our land, it’s worth it.”
The heart of Iowa is going to get a pretty great comedy festival come Mar. 28th-30th with The Green Gravel Comedy Festival featuring Jackie Kashian, Ryan Singer, Kevin McDonald, Junior Stopka, and more.
Tickets are on sale now and we suggest that you get them ASAP if you’re planning on going (and you should be if you can).
Former “Beards of Comedy” member Andy Sandford gives an hilarious and entirely open look at the highs, lows, and absolute pits of his life in this hilarious live special recorded in his home town of Atlanta.
My Case: Nickelback is not a good band. If you don’t believe me, go to a stand up comedy open mic, you’ll hear all about it! That being said, the song “Breathe” (spelled with the extra “e” because they are Canadian?) off their first major label album The State (shouldn’t that be The Province?) isn’t horrible. I mean, it’s not a great song, but compared to the onslaught of terrible music Nickelback put out over the next 10 years, this song is like The Beatles.
4. “Grand Theft Autmun” by Fall Out Boy
My Case: There is a line in the film “High Fidelity” where when talking about Stevie Wonder, the character Barry (played by Jack Black) asks “Is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins?” Now I’m not saying Fall Out Boy was ever a “great artist”, but, I think if you judge this album on it’s own, you’d be inclined to like it. Especially this song: The spoken word intro, the fun chorus, the nice guitar riffs. It’s good stuff. Like Your Favorite Weapon era Brand New. So just pretend “Sugar We’re Goin Down”, “Dance Dance” and the horrendus “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)” never happened, and enjoy this one.
3. “Awake and Dreaming” by Finger Eleven
My Case: Oh boy did I love this album! Every song was good, but this one was great. “Awake and Dreaming” was moody, but it’s got some strings in it, it’s got a nice breakdown and the singer really has a pretty pleasant voice. I saw Finger Eleven at the Ranch Bowl in Omaha in 1999 and had such a blast. They played the album in it’s entirety and everyone sang along with this one. I had a lot of hope for what would become of these guys. Unfortunately, the next 4 albums have all been cock rock radio garbage, most notably, the terrible hit song “Paralyzer”.
2. “Northern Downpour” by Panic! At The Disco
My Case: I like to put this song on for people, watch them get into it, and then go “guess who this is?” No one has ever guessed correctly, because Panic at The Disco are a shitty band (Remember this fucking song???) But this whole second album Pretty.Odd. is pretty good. From what I can tell, they drastically changed their sound from their first album, released this one, and then went back to their garbage sound. Which is so stupid. Goddamit, “Northern Downpour” is a great fucking song.
1. “Warm Machine” by Bush
My Case: I don’t hate the band Bush. I like them in a nostalgic way. That first album Sixteen Stone was a big part of my pre-teens. They are a shitty band though. No way around it. That is what makes the song “Warm Machine” so good. This song wasn’t on their first album, or their sophomore effort Razorblade Suitcase. This was on their THIRD FUCKING ALBUM, The Science of Things, We already knew who Bush was at this point. They were a shitty band that made shitty music. So when I heard this song for the first time, I was surprised. “Warm Machine” isn’t just an ok song, it’s a good song! It’s better than “Machinehead”. It’s better than “Come Down”! Fuck it, I’ll say it: it’s better than “Glycerine”.