On May 28th, 1999 I was at the movie theater at the Mall of the Bluffs in Council Bluffs, Iowa watching “Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace” for the second time.
There is a scene about 50 minutes in where Qui-Gon (still on Tatooine) takes a blood sample from Anakin. He then calls Obi-Wan and says “I need an analysis of this blood sample I’m sending you” and he pushes a button on his communicator. Then it cuts to Obi-Wan sitting in the ship, and he says “Wait a minute” while looking at the on-board computer.
That’s when I yelled out, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL” and the entire theater went fucking crazy. Total applause break. It was the hardest that I’ve ever killed. I was 14 years old and I’ve been chasing it ever since.
As a dog walker in New York City, my only real job is to get the dogs I walk in the background of movies/tv shows.
So far I’ve successfully pulled this off during the filming of “Smash”, “Us and Them”, “Girls” and “Untitled Xmas Movie”. I’ve never watched any of those, so I don’t know if we made the final cut, but we were definitely on camera.
My newest conquest is the upcoming comedy series created by Tina Fey called “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”. With a little luck, I’ll get Carmela the Pitbull in a scene with Ellie Kemper very soon! #GodBless
53. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance 52. Ghost Rider 51. Batman & Robin 50. Superman 4: The Quest for Peace 49. Thor: The Dark World 48. Superman 3 47. Elektra 46. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 45. The Amazing Spider-Man 44. Judge Dredd 43. Superman 2 42. Superman Returns 41. Spider-Man 3 40. Green Lantern 39. Thor 38. Spider-Man 2 37. The Dark Knight Rises 36. Jonah Hex 35. X-Men Origins: Wolverine 34. Daredevil 33. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer 32. Hulk 31. X-Men: The Last Stand 30. Batman Forever 29. Watchmen 28. Spider-Man 27. Hellboy 2: The Golden Army 26. The Wolverine 25. Batman Returns 24. Captain America: The First Avenger 23. Man of Steel 22. Superman 21. Green Hornet 20. Hellboy 19. Fantastic Four 18. The Punisher 17. The Dark Knight Rises 16. Dredd 15. Iron Man 2 14. Batman 13. Punisher: War Zone 12. X-Men: Days of Futures Past 11. Captain America: The Winter Soldier 10. X2: X-Men United 9. Iron Man 8. The Incredible Hulk 7. The Avengers 6. Batman Begins 5. X-Men: First Class 4. X-Men 3. Iron Man 3 2. The Dark Knight 1. Guardians of the Galaxy
I left Des Moines a little over a year ago, and I don’t know what I find more weird: That fact that there are a bunch of Des Moines comedians that I’ve never heard of OR the fact that there are a bunch of Des Moines comedians that have never heard of me?
If I've learned anything in the few years I've been doing stand up comedy, it's this:
When you’re a part of a comedy scene, don’t waste your time fighting and holding grudges with other comics. It’s useless. Rise above shit, come together and build something. Because walking around bitter and angry all the time is hacky as fuck.
10 Great Songs by Early 2000s "Christian" Bands, Compiled By A Guy Who Doesn't Believe in God
Earlier today I tweeted this
and it got me thinking….
I used to be in a band that got labeled as “christian”. I was then (and still am today) agnostic. I never gave a shit if people thought were religious, as long as they liked our music and as long as we kept getting to play shows with really great bands. And for a year or so, we did just that.
Here are 10 songs by early 2000s “christian” bands that were fucking awesome.
10. “High Five” by Calibretto 13
9. “Standing on the Edge of Night” by Element 101
8. “The Difference” by Count The Stars
7. “Angels of the Silences” by Stretch Arm Strong
6. “When The Sun Sleeps” by Underoath
5. “Duane Joseph” by The Juliana Theory
4. “The Longest Winter” by Pedro the Lion
3. “Tonight” by Ace Troubleshooter
2. “Snowbirds and Townies” by Further Seems Forever
She was looking kind of dumb he wrote, only to pause. His stomach turned. A pause like this could be one of two things; a short rest, or a long block.
The short rests were nothing, and even slightly relaxing. However, there had been times when the long blocks would plague him for weeks - months even. He would describe it to friends and colleagues as feeling like his brain had been filled with wet cement. Unable to process art, slowing down as the cement would harden. Shutting out all sense of creativity. All sense of magic. All sense of wonder. It was truly the one thing that terrified him.
But then suddenly, like a sign from above, the muse spoke to him and he again pressed his pen to the paper and wrote the words With her finger & her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead.
Steve smiled. “Not today cement” he said to aloud to the empty room, “Not today.”