Patrick Hastie is a goddamn comedian.

Sep 06

As a dog walker in New York City, my only real job is to get the dogs I walk in the background of movies/tv shows.

So far I’ve successfully pulled this off during the filming of “Smash”, “Us and Them”, “Girls” and “Untitled Xmas Movie”. I’ve never watched any of those, so I don’t know if we made the final cut, but we were definitely on camera.

My newest conquest is the upcoming comedy series created by Tina Fey called “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”. With a little luck, I’ll get Carmela the Pitbull in a scene with Ellie Kemper very soon! #GodBless

Aug 31
Aug 29
Hey everyone in Des Moines, go to this show tonight!
From the facebook page:










This month is a very special Bomb Shelter Stand Up Comedy Showcase at a special time - 8pm sharp! Come out and see the hilarious Sireono Sheley, plus 3 touring comedians who will be stopping in - Danny Vega (New York), Charlie Speez (Phoenix), and Richie Tolway (Phoenix)!! Plus, as always, your hosts, Ryan Solomon and Toll McGrane!!When the show is over, make your way over to the House of Bricks for Embarrassed: A Story Telling Show at 10pm!!

Hey everyone in Des Moines, go to this show tonight!

From the facebook page:

This month is a very special Bomb Shelter Stand Up Comedy Showcase at a special time - 8pm sharp! 

Come out and see the hilarious Sireono Sheley, plus 3 touring comedians who will be stopping in - Danny Vega (New York), Charlie Speez (Phoenix), and Richie Tolway (Phoenix)!! Plus, as always, your hosts, Ryan Solomon and Toll McGrane!!

When the show is over, make your way over to the House of Bricks for Embarrassed: A Story Telling Show at 10pm!!
Aug 29
Holy Fuck!!!

Jackknife Comedy at Brooklyn Colony is September 4th (one week from today)!

Super dope, super sexy and always super free!

This months show features:

Michael Karlik (Fly as Hell)

Leanne Linsky (F’Real Dope)

Bob Hansen (Beefy as Shit)

James Creelman (Too Hawt)

Usama Siddiquee (Spits Hot Fire)

and Alex Ptak (The Truth).

Hosted by two Bougie Boyz Gideon Hambright and Patrick Hastie!


Visit the Facebook Event Page here and of course, tell all your fucking friends!!!
Aug 29
Local comedy scene facebook groups are my spirit animal.

Local comedy scene facebook groups are my spirit animal.

Aug 28

A friend of mine told me he was really depressed and having a hard time finding himself. So I complied this list to help them out…

image

Which Frozen Character Are You?

Which Walking Dead Character Are You?

Which Spongebob Squarepants Character Are You?

Which Hobbit Character Are You?

Which Seinfeld Character Are You?

Which Supernatural Character Are You?

Which Sherlock Character Are You?

Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Character Are You?

Which The Wire Character Are You?

Which Game of Thrones Character Are You?

Which Simpson’s Character Are You?

Which Parks and Recreation Character Are You?

Which Pretty Little Liars Character Are You?

Which Sons of Anarchy Character Are You?

Which Avengers Character Are You?

Which Full House Character Are You?

Which Pitch Perfect Character Are You?

Which Mr. Selfridge Character Are You?

Which Oz Character Are You?

Which Breaking Bad Character Are You?

Which Smurfs Character Are You?

Which Transformers Character Are You?

Which Return to Amish Character Are You?

Which Friends Character Are You?

Which Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis Character Are You?

Which West Wing Character Are You?

Which Monsters vs. Aliens Character Are You?

Which Downton Abbey Character Are You

Which Scandal Character Are You?

Which Star Wars Character Are You?

Which X-Men Character Are You?

Which Mad Men Character Are You?

Which Mean Girls Character Are You?

Which Peter Pan Character Are You?

Which Scrubs Character Are You?

Which How I Met Your Mother Character Are You?

Which Star Trek Character Are You?

Which Star Trek The Next Generation Character Are You?

Which Star Trek Deep Space Nine Character Are You?

Which Star Trek Voyager Character Are You?

Which Star Trek Enterprise Character Are You?

Which House of Cards Character Are You?

Which 30 Rock Character Are You?

Which The Office (US) Character Are You?

Which The Office (UK) Character Are You?

Which Sopranos Character Are You?

Which Mary Tyler Moore Character Are You?

Which Family Guy Character Are You?

Which Futurama Character Are You?

Which Freaks and Geeks Character Are You?

Which Girls Character Are You?

Which Gilmore Girls Character Are You?

Which ER Character Are You?

Which GI Joe Character Are You?

Which Firefly Character Are You?

Which Ghostbusters Character Are You?

Which Sex and the City Character Are You?

Which Six Feet Under Character Are You?

Which Aqua Teen Hunger Force Character Are You?

Which Murder She Wrote Character Are You?

Which Sesame Street Character Are You?

Which Bob’s Burgers Character Are You?

Which Law and Order Character Are You?

Which Law and Order SVU Character Are You?

Which Law and Order Criminal Intent Character Are You?

Which Saturday Night Live Character Are You?

Which American Dad Character Are You?

Which Harry Potter Character Are You?

Which Buffy The Vampire Slayer Character Are You?

Aug 28

Lifetime is making a biopic about Brittany Murphy. I know it’s gonna suck, but it makes this joke topical again!

Aug 25

I don’t know how I didn’t know about this sooner! 

Bob Hansen’s got a great documentary called “I Don’t Belong Here”. 

It’s Bob Hansen’s America folks, and we’re all lucky enough to live in it!

Aug 24

VICE Article from Aug 13th: “DUMPING A BUCKET OF ICE ON YOUR HEAD DOES NOT MAKE YOU A PHILANTHROPIST”http://www.vice.com/read/dumping-a-bucket-of-ice-on-your-head-does-not-make-you-a-philanthropist-813

VICE article from Aug 22nd: “THE WORST PART OF THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE IS THE PEOPLE CRITICIZING IT”http://www.vice.com/read/the-worst-part-of-the-ice-bucket-challenge-is-the-people-criticizing-it-822

Aug 20