Patrick Hastie is a goddamn comedian.

Sep 18

Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance.

Sep 16
Check it out folks! Jackknife Comedy #5 is right around the corner! From the Facebook Event Page:











Holy shit!It’s the 5th Jackknife Comedy at Brooklyn Colony!The line-up is rad as fuck:John Bilancini (@KidRock)Carolyn Busa (@KidRock)Lawson Leong (@KidRock)Jordan Temple (@KidRock)Seth Cockfield (@KidRock)Peggy Oh (@KidRock)Hosted by Gideon Hambright & Patrick HastieTell your friends!

Check it out folks! Jackknife Comedy #5 is right around the corner! 

From the Facebook Event Page:

Holy shit!

It’s the 5th Jackknife Comedy at Brooklyn Colony!

The line-up is rad as fuck:

John Bilancini (@KidRock)

Carolyn Busa (@KidRock)

Lawson Leong (@KidRock)

Jordan Temple (@KidRock)

Seth Cockfield (@KidRock)

Peggy Oh (@KidRock)

Hosted by Gideon Hambright & Patrick Hastie

Tell your friends!
Sep 16
*Looks at my “One Tree Hill” poster*
*Kisses Sophia Bush*
*Tears it down*
*Hangs up “Chicago PD” poster*
*Smiles at Sophia Bush*
Did you miss me?
Sep 15
If you think the Kent State shirt being sold by Urban Outfitters is offensive, you should see the shirt Hot Topic is selling!

If you think the Kent State shirt being sold by Urban Outfitters is offensive, you should see the shirt Hot Topic is selling!

Sep 13

A bunch of people who are really killing it on twitter.

Ugh.

Sep 13
Sep 09
My friends are putting on a bad ass comedy festival in Des Moines. You should go here and help them make it happen!
From the Indiegogo page:


Des Moines East Village, the city’s most progressive and culturally vibrant neighborhood, has become the cradle of Des Moines stand up comedy scene. The House of Bricks opened their venue to Underground Comedy in 2008. The Beechwood Lounge began what became the Bombshelter showcase in 2010 while an open mic appeared at what was the Underground and is now Up/Down. This year, we, the hosts of Des Moines area independent stand up showcases (Dan Umthun, Toll McGrane, Alex Carter, Ryan Solomon, Marc VonAhnen) are organizing a celebration of the craft. Locally produced, funded by grassroots efforts and area business, boasting talent from our city as well as friends of the scene and alumni of our scene, this years festival will be another step toward bigger and better things for next year in the growing comedy scene in Iowa.
We’re bringing friends too! Comics from LA, Denver, New York, Chicago, Wisconsin, Nebraska will join us for a two night festival this year, and we’ll hope to see many return in a larger effort next year.
Oct 10 and 11, we’re presenting shows at the venues that have supported us and helped us grow, featuring the people that have made us what we are, that make our future, and inspired us to be funny at all.


What We Need & What You 
Although much of this festival will be funded by passion, blood, sweat, tears and our own pockets, we need your help. 
Even small contributions help us pay for posters, ad space, web hosting, lodging, food, merchandise and the cost of talent.  These funds will help us get the word out, and help us with the effort for what we have planned in 2015. Over the last year, some of us have put almost $1000 of their own money into bringing  top shelf regional and national comics to our city. If just 100 of our friends provided just $10 to our cause, we’d be able to cover a massive chunk of the talent we’re bringing this year.In exchange for support you’ll get the opportunity to get sweet merch, friendly thanks, and entry to our shows, and low cost advertising that will reach beyond the stage, but on the streets, and in social media in almost every photo taken at our event!


Other Ways You Can Help
If you can’t help, we understand. Not everyone is in a financial position to spare hard earned money, and while we hope you’ll still consider a meager investment in the city’s comedy future, please help by spreading the word, or just attending the shows we put on this weekend, or at any time at any of our host venues, or at fine locations like the Last Laugh Comedy Theater.

My friends are putting on a bad ass comedy festival in Des Moines. You should go here and help them make it happen!

From the Indiegogo page:

Des Moines East Village, the city’s most progressive and culturally vibrant neighborhood, has become the cradle of Des Moines stand up comedy scene. The House of Bricks opened their venue to Underground Comedy in 2008. The Beechwood Lounge began what became the Bombshelter showcase in 2010 while an open mic appeared at what was the Underground and is now Up/Down. This year, we, the hosts of Des Moines area independent stand up showcases (Dan Umthun, Toll McGrane, Alex Carter, Ryan Solomon, Marc VonAhnen) are organizing a celebration of the craft. Locally produced, funded by grassroots efforts and area business, boasting talent from our city as well as friends of the scene and alumni of our scene, this years festival will be another step toward bigger and better things for next year in the growing comedy scene in Iowa.

We’re bringing friends too! Comics from LA, Denver, New York, Chicago, Wisconsin, Nebraska will join us for a two night festival this year, and we’ll hope to see many return in a larger effort next year.

Oct 10 and 11, we’re presenting shows at the venues that have supported us and helped us grow, featuring the people that have made us what we are, that make our future, and inspired us to be funny at all.

What We Need & What You 

Although much of this festival will be funded by passion, blood, sweat, tears and our own pockets, we need your help. 
Even small contributions help us pay for posters, ad space, web hosting, lodging, food, merchandise and the cost of talent.  These funds will help us get the word out, and help us with the effort for what we have planned in 2015. 

Over the last year, some of us have put almost $1000 of their own money into bringing  top shelf regional and national comics to our city. If just 100 of our friends provided just $10 to our cause, we’d be able to cover a massive chunk of the talent we’re bringing this year.

In exchange for support you’ll get the opportunity to get sweet merch, friendly thanks, and entry to our shows, and low cost advertising that will reach beyond the stage, but on the streets, and in social media in almost every photo taken at our event!

Other Ways You Can Help

If you can’t help, we understand. Not everyone is in a financial position to spare hard earned money, and while we hope you’ll still consider a meager investment in the city’s comedy future, please help by spreading the word, or just attending the shows we put on this weekend, or at any time at any of our host venues, or at fine locations like the Last Laugh Comedy Theater.
Sep 09
Sep 09

The Hardest That I’ve Ever Killed…

On May 28th, 1999 I was at the movie theater at the Mall of the Bluffs in Council Bluffs, Iowa watching “Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace” for the second time.

There is a scene about 50 minutes in where Qui-Gon (still on Tatooine) takes a blood sample from Anakin. He then calls Obi-Wan and says “I need an analysis of this blood sample I’m sending you” and he pushes a button on his communicator. Then it cuts to Obi-Wan sitting in the ship, and he says “Wait a minute” while looking at the on-board computer.

That’s when I yelled out, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL” and the entire theater went fucking crazy. Total applause break. It was the hardest that I’ve ever killed. I was 14 years old and I’ve been chasing it ever since.

Sep 07
Hey dudes! I’m on this cool show at Freddy’s Bar in Brooklyn on Friday with a bunch of great comics! You should go!

From the facebook event page:











September is my favorite time of year. The kids are back in school, so the wife and I don’t have to plan activities to keep little Mariah and Tyson busy. Got a birthday coming up, marking my last year in the 18-34 marketing demo, wedding anniversary, 9/11. It’s quite the month. So let’s make it even better by doing some stand up comedy! The lineup this month contains multitudes: Calvin S. Cato Emily FlemingLuke MonesHoward PolikoffPatrick HastieMaria HeineggMike RecineIf that there doesn’t grab ya, you better check your pulse mister, because I’m not too sure you have blood pumping through those veins. Yeah, I’m taking to you, Daniel J Perafan. 9/12! 7pm! Free!Alex Fleming’s mom will be there!

Hey dudes! I’m on this cool show at Freddy’s Bar in Brooklyn on Friday with a bunch of great comics! You should go!

From the facebook event page:

September is my favorite time of year. The kids are back in school, so the wife and I don’t have to plan activities to keep little Mariah and Tyson busy. Got a birthday coming up, marking my last year in the 18-34 marketing demo, wedding anniversary, 9/11. It’s quite the month. 

So let’s make it even better by doing some stand up comedy! The lineup this month contains multitudes: 

Calvin S. Cato 
Emily Fleming
Luke Mones
Howard Polikoff
Patrick Hastie
Maria Heinegg
Mike Recine

If that there doesn’t grab ya, you better check your pulse mister, because I’m not too sure you have blood pumping through those veins. Yeah, I’m taking to you, Daniel J Perafan. 9/12! 7pm! Free!

Alex Fleming’s mom will be there!