Patrick Hastie: Comedian. Dancer. Liar.

This a shirt I designed in college back in 2004. I did it to be...

Thu, 23 May 2013 00:49:28 -0400

This a shirt I designed in college back in 2004.

I did it to be silly. I ordered one and never wore it.

Recently I got an email from cafepress and saw that over the years I have sold 23 shirts.

Who bought the shirts? I have no idea.

What happened to the money? I have no idea.

Did I lose my virginity in Glenwood, Iowa? I have no idea. Probably.

I love this. #JASH

Wed, 22 May 2013 22:41:54 -0400

I love this. #JASH

One time I watched an episode of “The Joy of Painting with...

Wed, 22 May 2013 12:20:12 -0400

One time I watched an episode of “The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross” and followed along using MSPaint.

Why, what are you doing in college?

Watch "Our Friendship is Dead"! This is all 8 episodes of the web series!

Tue, 21 May 2013 14:41:39 -0400

“Our Friendship is Dead”, a web series from Gideon Hambright, Luke Ritter and Patrick Hastie (AKA #BestRoughDraftPictures), centers around roommates Patrick and Gideon dealing with the recent death of their friend Luke.

Episode 1: The Pilot

Episode 2: My So Called After-Life

Episode 3: Go Away Ghost

Episode 4: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Episode 5: Vivica Monica Bonet

Episode 6: An H-Word Party

Episode 7: Goodbye, Farewell, We’re Closed! Part 1

Episode 8: Goodbye, Farewell, We’re Closed! Part 2

Also watch on the HypnoPro Channel on YouTube or on Funny or Die!

Visit the tumblr!

When I moved from Iowa to New York a few weeks ago I took a...

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:20:21 -0400

When I moved from Iowa to New York a few weeks ago I took a bus.

A Greyhound Bus.

It took 27 hours.

This is what happened…

(Read, bottom to top)

Why doesn’t this have more views? Sometimes I think...

Tue, 21 May 2013 01:59:54 -0400

Why doesn’t this have more views? Sometimes I think you’re all assholes.

A bunch of my dumb friends (Ryan Solomon, Will Fraizer, Bobby...

Fri, 10 May 2013 14:40:22 -0400

A bunch of my dumb friends (Ryan Solomon, Will Fraizer, Bobby Ray Bunch, James Draper, Dan Umthun and Josh Chamberlin) were all on Talk of Iowa on Iowa Public Radio talking about comedy in Iowa.

Click here to listen to it. It’s pretty great.

These are my friends. They are the comedians I started with....

Fri, 10 May 2013 12:20:08 -0400

These are my friends. They are the comedians I started with. They are all much funnier than I am. You should follow/friend/enjoy them.

(Left to Right)

Derek Moulds, Tommy Morga n Jr, Nick Costanzo, Toll McGrane, Me, Marc Von Ahnen, Gideon Hambright, Brandon Ream, Luke Ritter, Ryan Solomon and John Eide.

*Not pictured, a bunch of other cool comedians from Des Moines.

Before I left Des Moines, I answered 5 questions on Dan...

Fri, 10 May 2013 01:25:33 -0400

Before I left Des Moines, I answered 5 questions on Dan Umthun’s podcast Radio Free Latveria. It gets pretty interesting. Enjoy it!

Also, I didn’t realize this was supposed to be a short segment. So I talk lot.

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I was on the latest episode of Derek Moulds and Tommy Morgan...

Wed, 08 May 2013 01:20:56 -0400

I was on the latest episode of Derek Moulds and Tommy Morgan Jr’s podcast Problem Drinking. A bunch of my friends were also on the podcast. It was a shit show. Enjoy it!

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Please donate to this kickstarter! From the kickstarter...

Fri, 03 May 2013 13:13:03 -0400

Please donate to this kickstarter!

From the kickstarter page:

GIVE IOWA COMEDY A HOME!

WHO WE ARE: Anything Improv is a comedy company that offers improv comedy classes and produces high quality improv shows performed entirely by local Iowa comedians. We produce a weekly improv comedy show in conjunction with the Des Moines Social Club as well as putting on improv jams where audience members can get up onstage and try their hand at comedy. And now we are dedicated to creating a space where local comedy talent can learn, grow, and perform as a community.

WHAT WE WANT TO DO: Throughout the years, we’ve found ourselves in various bars, restaurants, conference rooms, banquet rooms, and event spaces. Now we want to create a home for our local Des Moines comedians. After months of looking, we’ve found a prospective new home in the Western Gateway neighborhood of Downtown Des Moines. Of course, we want to be able to have a place to laugh and play every weekend, but we also want to offer a venue – an actual physical theater – to the many talented artists, comedians and performers of Central Iowa. We want to be able to offer a wide variety of local comedy options to our city’s residents – family friendly shows every week, as well as unique and original sketch and improv comedy shows that highlight all of the talented individuals in the Des Moines comedy scene. We want to offer season after season of theatrical entertainment unlike anything else in Iowa.

This level of fun takes funding. That’s why we’ve launched this campaign.

WHAT THE MONEY IS FOR: Just to open our doors, we have significant expenses. There’s lumber and paint and screws and nails for the stage construction. There’s lighting and sound equipment. There’s computers and a video projection system and credit card equipment. We need to purchase chairs and furniture and a bar. And it costs quite a bit of money for a big, illuminated, awesome sign – you know, so you can find us.

In this new space, we will have the room to build a theater to house a performance space, a classroom, lobby, an administrative office, and a performer green room. And also a bar, because the more people drink, the funnier we are!

We’ll also be able to offer more classes, shows and improv jams to further grow and develop the improv and alternative comedy community in Des Moines.

The $10,000 (or more!) that we raise through this project will be used to cover these opening expenses. We cannot open our doors without these items, and we’re looking for all the help we can get to achieve our goal!

If we blow past that initial goal and hit $20,000, we’ll be able to fund further construction of our control booth, enhance our audio and video system, and several other equipment and barware needs we have upon opening. And if we pass THAT, we’ll have the ability to fund unique productions and world premieres that reach beyond our initial improv and sketch repertoire.

Our new theater will be located in Des Moines Western Gateway, just a block away from the Pappajohn Sculpture Park and two blocks from Exile Brewing Company, adding to the revitalization of the Walnut corridor.

OUR TIMELINE: Right now we are negotiating a lease on a space.Our estimate is that we will be in our new space to begin construction by early June. There is an estimated two months of construction. With some help, Anything Improv will be performing in our new venue by August. Our goal is to have an opening night party, complete with improv comedy show, by the last week of August…and you can get tickets by donating!

Find out more about us at http://www.anythingimprov.com

The Baby Comic EP by Patrick Hastie I think it’s dumb when...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:11:00 -0400

The Baby Comic EP by Patrick Hastie

I think it’s dumb when comedians that have only been doing stand up a few years put out full length albums. It takes a long time to write a good hour, it takes a long time to find your voice and it takes a long time to figure out what you want to say as a comedian. I know, personally, that I’m still a long way from all of that.

This is simply a 20 minute set I did in Iowa City on April 19th, 2013. When I used to be in bands, we would write a few songs and put out an EP and then a few years later, put out a full length album. That’s what I’m doing. In 6 or 7 years when I put out a real stand up comedy album, hopefully this will be an interesting example of how far I’ve come. Or, an example of how shitty I still am.

These jokes are newer and not necessarily my “tried and true” bits, however, I think this is a good example of who I am as a comedian at 2 years in. Also, since I’m moving to New York in a few days, I wanted to have something to kind of put a button on my time in Des Moines. This EP does that.

So I give you, “The Baby Comic EP”. Download it for free above or click here. Or don’t. I don’t care. I love you.

daveshumka: I spent the afternoon listening to my old band, and...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 04:35:00 -0400

daveshumka:

I spent the afternoon listening to my old band, and the good news is we were really weird.

I really like this!

TONIGHT! MY LAST SHOW IN DES MOINES!

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 14:40:30 -0400

TONIGHT!

MY LAST SHOW IN DES MOINES!

He was one of the greats. Ugh.

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:37:14 -0400

He was one of the greats. Ugh.

Watch this cool short I’m in with Gideon Hambright!...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 23:47:43 -0400

Watch this cool short I’m in with Gideon Hambright! It’s directed by Ryan Solomon and the music is by Luke Ritter!

This Saturday (April 27st, 2013) will be my last comedy show...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 12:20:34 -0400

This Saturday (April 27st, 2013) will be my last comedy show before I move to New York!

So come out!

Facebook Event Page Here!

I’d LOVE to get a job working for itunes, but whenever I...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 00:49:28 -0400

I’d LOVE to get a job working for itunes, but whenever I click the “Apply” button all it does is sync my ipod.

The official theme song for Sunday April 21st, 2013: “The...

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 23:16:23 -0400

The official theme song for Sunday April 21st, 2013: “The World at Large” by Modest Mouse

I finally finished writing the SERIES FINALE of “How I Met...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 23:01:47 -0400

I finally finished writing the SERIES FINALE of “How I Met Your Mother”!

It was an HONOR!

SPOILER! Here are the LAST 2 pages of the script!

ENJOY!